My 234.4lb Truth

It is not my job to convince anyone that God is good. All I can do is share my experiences and be authentic about the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob who has LOVED me more than I can even put into words. For the record, no I do not accept being fat. I feel physically uncomfortable at this weight no matter how I dress it up. However, please realize that whether your challenge may be physical: eating, pornography, sexual exploits, drug use, speeding (road signs aren't meant to keep us from having fun but to keep ourselves and others safe) mental/emotional: lying, arrogance, hate, spiritual: lust, unbelief or even financial: overspending, some battles are hard fought.


This is not a struggle post. It is one of accountability and a path forward. It is a reminder of who I am and who I would like you to also remember you are. We are children of God to whom He gave authority to tread on the lion and the cobra and trample on the great lion and the serpent (Psalm 91). We must believe this. Then, and only then will we be able to walk in our God given power that is able to break chains and loose us from generational curses. Our transparency matters because a picture will never tell our whole truth.

"Holy Spirit cannot help you with what you say you want help with,but refuse to let go of."


A snapshot will not always reveal my pain, tears, way too many symptoms of depression, dark secluded days in my room with cookies close by for comfort...a real fight for my life. A snapshot will not reveal where I have allowed the devil to hide for years. He's been hiding in my darkness and he whispers shameful things to me. I wouldn't recommend anyone take a page from my old book (hiding away pretending I don't have a problem that I'm shutting Holy Spirit out of). A revelation of the truth hurts. Here's a truth we often try to avoid.


Holy Spirit cannot help you with what you say you want help with, but refuse to let go of. I was trying to trick God. I was not always conscious of this fact but in hindsight, that is what I was actually doing. I was lying to God and believe me, no one can trick Him (Galatians 6:7). I've learned this. Regardless of what you see on the outside, God is restoring my heart, soul, mind, and body. His truths are setting me free. Just like Jesus said they would (John 8:31-32). I hope you find strength in the fact that because God began a good work in you, He is faithful to see that it is finished until Jesus returns (Philippians 1:6). Has Jesus returned? If your answer is an obvious, "no", then God isn't yet finished His good work in you.


Waiting until 2020 may seem like a good idea for: "new year. new you." I do want to share however, that you also have permission to begin today if you feel led to. Delay can be dangerous. Whatever the devil has been using against you, I pray you allow God to be your strength in your weakness (2 Corinthians 12:10) so the shame you may be battling will have nowhere to hide. May the Light of truth spring forth from your darkness and bring you real freedom. May healing and restoration be yours in Jesus' name!


When I am weak, God is strong

2 Corinthians 12:10


There is therefore no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus

Romans 8:1 ESV


I was bought at a price therefore I must glorify God with my body

1 Corinthians 6:20

Jesus loved me so much that He sacrificed His life for me on the slim chance that I may choose Him

John 15:13

I am fearfully and wonderfully made

Psalm 139:14

I am more than a conqueror through Christ Jesus

Romans 8:37

The steps of a righteous man are ordered by the Lord

Psalm 37:23



I challenge you to:

  1. Read your bible. Keep verses safe in your heart so you may recite them to yourself or someone who may need to know, when we trust in God's word, no matter the battles we face, we cannot fail.

  2. Pray. Prayer is a powerful tool especially coupled with action. Surround yourself with people who call you out when you are in the wrong and correct you in love. ​

  3. Be patient and kind to yourself; God is incredibly patient with you. A good strategy and heart change wins wars but as my grandmother always says, "haste makes waste."


Encouragement to Get You by

12/9/19

I think many of us at this time are struggling to stay afloat in more ways than one. I do not have much to say other than this: I wish I could give you a hug because feeling hopeless even for a short while can seem impossible to bare. I encourage you today to read Psalm 37. This Psalm is not one that I have ever read until now. God always knows what we need and is never late in delivering us. This chapter really blessed me so it is my hope that it will also bless you during what may feel like a time of impossibilities.